Bizarre record album covers (1)

Before the advent of the mp3, there were CD’s, cassettes, and eight track cartridges. However, the vinyl record was king of the music media from the early 1900’s until around 1998. Other Medias improved on the sound quality of music, but none of them possessed the open canvas of the album cover. The album cover caught the consumer’s eye, and allowed musicians and performers to come up with artwork that would promote their music or  message. However, in hindsight that may not have been such a good idea.

Everybody (mostly) likes the finger good licking goodness of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Harland Sanders was a savvy business man and entrepreneur. He began branching out however, and dabbled in music. He had two promotional albums created for sale in his franchise in the early sixties. “Christmas with Colonel Sanders” was released in 1969, and had famous figures singing Christmas music on this album. Chet Atkins, Lorne Green, Harry Belafonte, and even Charley Pride sang on this record. “Tijuana Picnic” was a big band album with music played by a big brass horn section. Good thing the Colonel didn’t sing on the album though; his time in the studio recording a commercial didn’t turn out as well.

Argentina Coral was a handsome female singer from Spain who sang flamenco and rumba music in the sixties and the early seventies. This album cover didn’t do her any justice, she was very attractive.

Billy Tipton was a jazz musician from 1936 until the early 1970’s. He had success in playing the music as well as conducting big band ensembles. However, most people didn’t know that he was born as Dorothy Lucille Tipton, and that he was actually a woman. He had concealed his secret for over fifty years. When dating women, he would tell women that the breast binding and missing male genitals were due to a car accident he had suffered. He dated many women, adopted three sons, and even participated in the cub scouts and the PTA. In 1989, he was suffering from a hemorrhagic peptic ulcer and an ambulance was called. While the paramedics were treating him, he was surrounded by his sons and it was then his actual gender was discovered. Billy was taken to the hospital, where he soon died. All three sons fought each other over the estate. The court divided the estate among the brothers; one the sons got Billy’s penis packer and breast bindings.

“Hey, Mr. Banjo” was a minstrel album released in the early 1950’s by Mr. Bones and his troupe. I’m not sure if it was an homage, or a parody of the minstrel genre. But it certainly was offensive to the black community at the time. The album covered many minstrel staples that were prevalent during the civil war.

The Oleika Eight Balls hailed from the Oleika Temple in Lexington Kentucky; it was a Shiners’ organization. In the mid sixties some of their members got together to play Dixieland music and created a fundraising record. I’m not sure how much money they made, but they do certainly look like an interesting ensemble. Yes, that's the band leader emerging from a coffin with a huge eight ball. I don't know why either.

Muhammad Ali was the greatest boxer that ever lived, but you may not know that he also had an album. He recorded an album for children to teach them how to fight tooth decay. Looks like he called in some favors and had his friends participate. Frank Sinatra, Richie Havens, Jayne Kennedy, Ossie Davis, Arthur Morrison, and even his nemesis Howard Cosell participated in the recording. Kind of has a funky beat to it. He's so bad he murdered a rock? Injured a stone? Listen to the video!

From the web site: “Beverly Massegee is a multi-talented Singer, Actress, Published Author, Lecturer, and Ventriloquist. On her “Amen” album cover, she does seem to adore her wooden partner Erik. Again, from her site regarding this album: "AMEN!CD RecordingFeaturing Erick and Beverly

Erick Massegee, the youngest and most hard-headed member of the Charles Massegee Evangelistic Team, sings, teaches and amuses on this CD. Erick never fails to amuse both young and old with his somewhat unconventional views of well-known Bible stories, and his perceptive insights into the lives of the Church and its members.”

That's one smart dummy.

http://www.massegee.org/Donations.htm

Anna Russell was an English-Canadian singer and comedian from 1940 until 1977. She produced many comedy and satirical albums, including this ill-fated one “Ann Russell in Darkest Africa.” A picture is worth a thousand words; however I could only come up with two. So wrong.

Axel Zwingenberger is a well-regarded blues and boogie-woogie pianist. He has even collaborated with Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts. However, what is up with that hairdo! The piano playing is catchy though.

Judy Dunaway is a considered an avant-garde composer and improviser of balloon music. Yes, balloon music, and apparently is well regarded doing so. Here is the link to view her balloon sessions: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gPbTdWw7yw. I hate to admit I was kind of mesmerized by her performance, but not by the balloon noise. I mean music.

Quim Bareiros is a Portuguese Pimba music writer and musician. Pimba music is mainly comprised of simple, catchy tunes with simple sexual metaphors. The rough Portuguese translation for the album title above means, “I got an invitation (to the house of a young girl).” Wikipedia had more to offer: “He started his career before Emanuel, being one of the first, if not the actual first, documented case of Pimba. In most of his songs, Barreiros makes extensive use of double entendre, often with obvious sexual suggestions. One of Quim Barreiros' biggest hits was "A Garagem da Vizinha" (The [Female] Neighbour's Garage), which is a metaphor for the female genitalia, but he is also known for hits such as "Mariazinha", where he asks a woman named Mariazinha to let him smell her "codfish". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quim_Barreiros.

The Ovarian Sisters were a feminist group from Hobart Australia. They recorded an album called “Beat your Breast.” One of the more interesting songs from the album was titled “IPD.” Instead of IUD, which was the intrauterine device that women used as birth control, IPD was the intra-penile device they suggested men should use. Susan Margery writes “ The Chorus of 'The IPD' went: Oh it's the IPD, the IPD!/It may not feel too good to you/But it's not hurting me./So every time the pain begins to fill your eyes with tears,/Remember I put up with it for years.” http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_hb6655/is_1_30/ai_n29107556/pg_3/?tag=content;col1

Brian Maxine was an English wrestler who held the British Welterweight Championship belt from 1969 to 1971. What you may not have known is that he also recorded Country and Western music; He actually sings very well.

Chewbacca lived in a Galaxy far, far away. What you may not have realized is that he was an accomplished singer. This album was released in 1999, and he covers many of the Christmas classics that we all know and love. Here is the link to listen to him growling “Silent Night”: http://chewbacca.room34.com/. Not bad for a Wookie.

The Colonial Cousins are an Indian pop duo who mixes Indian music and western music genres. The artist Hari and Lezz (yes, their real names) established themselves a premier fusion artist with the release of “The way we do it.” They didn't age too well. I'm not sure if anyone is telling them to stay all night anymore.

Roscoe Ronald Coyne was seven years old when he had his right eye removed after an accident. Ten months after the surgery he attended a revival, where he stated that after being prayed upon he began seeing out of his eye socket. After this miracle, he began travelling around the country as a preacher, demonstrating how he could see and read out of his eye socket. From the John Hamel ministries website: “I personally covered his existing left eye with my own handkerchief, not some transparent prop provided from Rev. Coyne’s bag of unholy “tricks”. A handkerchief which I folded six or eight times over. I then held it in place with approximately one half roll of adhesive tape, similar to what you will see below, only better. I taped it so tightly to Rev. Coyne’s nose and cheekbone that he later told me, “You hurt me when you did that. If I didn’t like you so much, Pastor John, I would have been angry with you for that.” He was correct in his analysis of my eye covering tape job. I was determined that he would not be able to see out of his existing eye.” http://www.johnhamelministries.org/ronald_coyne_testimony_video.htm

Jalacy Hawkins, A.K.A. Screaming Jay Hawkins, was a singer and actor who has been considered the godfather of shock rock. He was trained to play the piano as a child, and had ambitions of being a bass baritone singer. He eventually settled into a blues-singing career. His biggest hit “I put a spell on you” was created by accident. In the recording studio, Jay and his band were eating fried chicken and drunk from whiskey. They recorded a guttural, grunting, drunk rendition of the song; since they paid for the studio time the session was recorded and released. It became a hit. Jay Hawkins had to learn the words to the song from the actual recording. During a performance he was paid $300 to rise from a coffin; he adopted this prop and other voodoo imagery to complete his persona. He was also alleged to have fathered 75 children; he moved to France and died from an aneurism in 2000.

Dan Crary is a Bluegrass guitarist who became a specialist at playing the flat-pick guitar as a solo instrument. In 1977 he recorded “Lady’s Fancy,” which a compilation of bluegrass song instrumentals. Outside of the major comb over on his album, the music is very good. He is presently a Professor of Speech at California State University. His website link: http://www.dancrary.com/DisplayProducts.html

The “Maddy Genets” were a French accordion group from the late sixties, which wasn’t uncommon. The unique characteristic of the band was that the mother, father, and son were all blind. The music they created was just as macabre as their appearance. Warning, do not listen to the music, look at the group picture, and be alone at night in your apartment. You’ve been warned.

The “Funky Funky New Orleans” anthology was comprised of five records show casing funk music of the seventies with musicians and bands with ties to the New Orleans music scene. The musical compilation is a listening treat for fans of seventies soul and funk music. What caught my attention was the cover of album number four. I’ve never seen a big, black go-go dancer wearing a bikini and a powdered white wig. Not even in my travels around the world or during my time in the Army. I guess it is super hot in Nawlens.

Fun-De-Mental is a multi-ethnic band from England. They fuse hip-hop and electronic music with Eastern and Western genres into an interesting mix of tracks. Their political stance and strong Islamic affiliation has garnered them the label of “The Asian Public Enemy”. The musical lyrics speak to the racism experienced by Muslims from Non-Muslims. They seek to raise awareness of these issues through their music. “Erotic Terrorism” was released in 1998, and from the cover you can get the gist of the album. It was a call to arms to protect the virtue of Muslim women from Western exploitation and pornography. Interesting…

Ethel Merman was an American actress who acted in movies and performed on Broadway from the 1930’s until the late 1980’s. She sang in Irving Berlin’s “There’s no Business like Show business” in 1954; a song that became her signature hit. With her musical background, why she chose to cut a disco record is beyond me, but she did. Enjoy the track!

Francisco y Fernando are a Peter Pan like musical duo from Venezuela. In their album “Vamos a la Playa” (Let’s go to the Beach), they invite their friends down to the beach to party, drink, and get lucky. As the video can attest, they spared no expense in producing their video for the signature song. The production values are what you would expect for artist with their talent.

Swedish singer Mats Söderlund has an alter ego, he is the lead singer of the band “Gunther and the Sunshine Girls.” Good thing he’s not using his real name, at least he can't blame his lack of talent on his alter ego. From his website: “WELCOME! Günther is back with a bang! With the super catchy song Famous, he once again takes sex, champagne, glamour and respect to the dance floors!"

http://www.gunthernet.com/

WARNING, SEXUAL INNUENDO AND BARE BOTTOM SIGHTING (IT'S A MAN'S BARE BOTTOM).

© 2011Augustine A. Zavala